Squid Girl: Squidtastic Vacation!
by Elyos
Summary: Squid Girl goes on vacation from the Lemon Beach House to get away from it all. Seven days out on the sea leads her to a tropical island, where she has a chance encounter with some of the most powerful pirates to sail across the Blue.
1. Chapter 1: What the Ink is That!

Seven days have passed since Squid Girl departed from the Lemon Beach House on a much needed vacation from her inkvasion efforts. She was a small girl whose age was unknown to her future human subordinates. Squid Girl was garbed in a white dress with a hat and a pair of boots of matching color. She had blue squid tentacles for hair, which possessed powers superior to that which [most] humans could comprehend.

On her seventh day away from her surface home, she found an island where she was currently standing ashore under the deep blue sky, right next to a beached ship that had a large carved sheep head at the bough.

"A human vessel?" Squid Girl wondered aloud, peering around the sandy shore for signs of life. A sea breeze blew upwind, carrying the smell of salt as the water flowed and ebbed around Squid Girl's ankles. Finding no one, Squid Girl pressed forth, leaving the beach and ocean behind and entering the greenery that lay ahead.

Seeing this place reminded Squid Girl of the time when a group of human ghosts led her through the greenery to the sea. This greenery, though, was a little bit different. The colors here were so much more vibrant than back home. The air was so muggy and hot that Squid Girl wanted to turn right around and go back into the water. The problem was she forgot the way she came. She stopped walking. Large bugs buzzed around her, trying to get a bite of fresh Squid Girl. One particular bug, a mosquito the size of Squid Girl's hand, landed on her forehead and sank its needle-like biting apparatus into her. She attempted to squash the mosquito against her face with one of her tentacles, but the bug flew off and she missed, instead slapping herself silly.

Now with the vertical imprint of a squid tentacle up her face, Squid Girl picked a random direction and walked that way. Five minutes later, something straight ahead of her moved. She moved into hiding, behind a shrub at the base of a tree. That something moved again; it was mossy, green, and alive.

"What the squid is that?"

A twig snapped and the green mossy thing fell still. It must have heard Squid Girl's whispering. The green thing sank below the bushes, and a metallic clanking could be heard from just over yonder. A few seconds later, the moss rose into view and moved away. Squid Girl waited until it was gone before she stood back up and unintentionally rammed the top-end of her hat straight up the backside of a long-nosed man in brown overalls.

"Yeowch!" he cried out, dropping all the coconuts he was collecting to the ground with four massive thuds, and skittering back up to the top of the tree. "What the heck?! Zorooooooo, help!"

Squid Girl looked up at the hilarious sight of the panicked man. He was afraid of her! Nice. He was wearing a brown bandana over his curly black mane. He wore a white cloth sash and had a leather satchel strapped over his shoulder and hanging against his hip on the opposite side.

Squid Girl cupped her hands around her mouth. "Hey! Is that your vessel there on the beach?!"

Hearing Squid Girl's voice, the man in the treetop looked back down and saw that the thing that poked him was nothing more than a harmless girl in a white dress. He slid down and dismounted the tree, presenting himself before Squid Girl.

"That's right, lady. The name's Captain Usopp, and that ship's all mine."

Squid Girl grinned at him. She was supposed to be on vacation from her inkvasion, but there was no reason to let this chance go.

"Well, I'm Squid Girl, and I'm going to conquer the human world – starting with you!" All ten of her tentacles rose to life and writhed in the air, ready to capture this Usopp fellow. Seeing this, Usopp took a step back.

"What the…?" He reached into his satchel and pulled a slingshot and small black sphere. Slipping the sphere into the strap of the slingshot, he drew it back and took aim at Squid Girl, as he tried to mask his cowardly trembling with a threat. "You don't make any sudden moves now, you hear?! I'll open fire!"

"Go ahead, human," Squid Girl dared, "I'm going to take you prisoner~"

Squinting his eyes closed, Usopp let the drawn slingshot strap go, snapping forth the black sphere. The shot whistled through the air, traveling at such high speed that Squid Girl had no chance to block or evade it. The sphere made contact with her face and burst into a swatch of red hot sauce, splashing Squid Girl across her eyes, nose, mouth, and a few of her tentacles. Every orifice caught fire. Screaming in agony, Squid Girl swung all ten of her tentacles everywhere she could, trying to strike Usopp dead as she staggered around, blinded by the cruel but useful tactic employed by that human coward. She heard his footfalls fading as he fled the scene. Squid Girl stepped on one of the coconuts, which rolled out from underneath her and sent her to the ground.

There she wailed in pain. She'd been so easily defeated by a human, and now on top of being lost, she couldn't see. So she crawled on her arms and knees wherever she could, in whatever direction she had to have been facing. Still blinded, eyes still in the agony from the fiery red hot sauce, Squid Girl bumped head first into so many trees that she lost count. She listened for the ocean. Around the time that she wised up enough to use her tentacles to feel the area around her so that she wouldn't collide into anymore trees, the most curious irony came into play.

It wasn't until Squid Girl was defeated, down, and blind that she found her way at last back to the shore from which she started her exploration. Into the sunlight Squid Girl crawled, sand squishing beneath her body. She used her tentacles to aid her four humanoid limbs to help her crawl more quickly toward the water, where she could hopefully wash away the hot sauce from her face. She barely saw the shadow of the beached seafaring vessel, but she now heard voices coming from it as she crawled by. Among those voices, one of them blurted,

"That's her! That's the monster I was trying to tell you about! The one that tried to kill me! Do you believe me _now?!_"

"Gum-Gum…!" the voice of a powerful sounding boy echoed. "Grappler!"

A cloud of sand burst nearby and sprayed Squid Girl in the side of the face, some of it affecting her already burning eyes, which didn't help matters. Someone landed on the ground beside her. That someone, she could barely see, was wearing a red shirt and a hat made of straw. He smelled liked…

"Shrimp!" gasped Squid Girl. She turned ninety degrees and crawled toward the hat-wearing boy with shameless gusto. Poking and prodding around the sand with her tentacles, she eventually wrapped them around the boy's waist and lifted him into the air, searching beneath where he was squatting a second before. All the while, the boy didn't seem to mind Squid Girl manhandling him. He let out a merry laugh, and following that merry laugh he said,

"Coooool!"

Squid Girl dropped the boy down in front of her. "Who the ink are you, human?"

"I'm Luffy! What's your name?"

"S… ow-ow-ow… Squid Girl…"

"Squid?" He seized one of Squid Girl's tentacles and bit down on it. Squid Girl yelped and slapped Luffy upside the head with one of her other tentacles. He let her go. Breathing heavily, Squid Girl crawled pathetically away from Luffy as quickly as her arms and legs could carry her. She went head first straight into the flow of the tide, which over the next few minutes washed away the hot sauce that had blinded her.

Rejuvenated, Squid Girl stood up and faced the whole crew of humans who'd assembled next to Luffy in curiosity. There was a red-haired girl in a white shirt with blue stripes and short brown cutoffs; that mossy thing, which turned out to be the green hair of a muscular man in a ragged shirt and pants, wearing three swords on his hip; Usopp, the spineless human who shot Squid Girl in the face with hot sauce; Luffy, who looked like the most spirited member of that weird group; and another woman with dark hair, who wore a white blouse and denim jeans.

"Is she like Chopper?" the red-haired girl asked the rest of the group.

"No idea," answered the moss-haired swordsman, who shifted his strong jaw in appraisal of Squid Girl. "But I think Usopp's more of a coward than I thought, if _that's _what scared him."

"Shut up!" Usopp cried. "You didn't see her do what I saw! That hair of hers is no hair! Those are tentacles!"

"Well," the dark-haired woman said coolly, "we know she's not eaten a Devil Fruit. We saw her swimming around out there not long ago."

Luffy just smiled and stared.

Squid Girl stared back.

The staring contest continued. Until –

"Let's introduce her to Sanji, I'm hungry," Luffy said. That was when the red-haired girl clocked him in the back of the head with her fist. He took the shot like it didn't matter; his smile never vanished.

As she started to lose her nerve before this uncanny group of people, Squid Girl said to herself, "Oh boy. I think I'm in a squiddle bit of trouble."


	2. Chapter 2: A School of Suckers

And so, Squid Girl had boarded the vessel along with the humans. If anything, it was the smell of cooking shrimp emanating from the galley that drew her aboard. These _squidding _humans weren't going to try anything funny, she was sure of it. But she kept one close eye on Luffy, just incase. _He _tried to eat _her_.

"So your name is Squid Girl, huh?" said the red-haired girl called Nami. She was standing next to the dark-haired woman, to whom the crew referred to as Nico Robin, along with Squid Girl on the deck of the vessel. Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp went about their business; Zoro decided to take a nap at the base of the mast, Usopp disappeared into the galley, and Luffy was sitting on top of the sheep head at the ship bough, staring off into the blue horizon.

Tantalized by the smell of shrimp mixed with salty air, Squid Girl's answer did not come without a lagging delay beforehand. "Yeah. Squid Girl." And then she said something barely above a whisper.

Nami gave her a look, and Nico Robin said, "It's alright. You're among friends here. Speak up."

Squid Girl mumbled again.

"You're gonna have to talk louder than that, Squid Girl," said Nami.

"I want shrimp." Punctuating Squid Girl's statement was the sound of her belly growling. She was pretty hungry, and that shrimp was famishing her more by the minute.

That was when a tall and lanky blonde haired man in a fancy black suit, with a cigarette between his teeth, popped out of the galley with big, pink hearts in his eyes. "Namiii, Robiiin! I cooked up the shrimp you wanted~" And then he noticed Squid Girl standing there among his beloved female shipmates. "Huh? Who're you?"

"Oh, brother," Nami said, "I'll handle this one. Squid Girl? Meet Sanji. He's our cook."

Nami said something else, but Squid Girl wasn't listening anymore. She bolted across the deck, bumped her way past Sanji, and charged down into the ship galley, wherein she found a platter of freshly cooked shrimp awaiting her on a nice table. A fraction of a second later Luffy was breathing down Squid Girl's neck.

"Oh, boy, food!" Luffy cried joyously. Squid Girl thought he meant _her_ when he said that, but he trampled his way over Squid Girl to be the first one to the table.

"Hey," Squid Girl blurted, "wait a squidding minute! I saw the shrimp first!"

"You snooze, you lose!" Smiling as big as ever, Luffy started dishing up copious amounts of shrimp on one of the plates that had been assorted on the table. Sanji burst into the galley, furious.

"Luffy! That's for Nami and Nico! Keep your paws off it!"

Sanji didn't realize that, on his way in, he, too, trampled Squid Girl, who was still lying face down after Luffy squashed her.

"Hey!" Squid Girl protested. "Watch where you're swimming, you suckers!"

And then Usopp came running in, flattening Squid Girl a third time.

"More food, finally! Save some for me!"

A fourth crew member walked to the galley, but he didn't step on Squid Girl, much to her relief. Zoro peered down at her, and she, as she recovered, looked up at him.

"What're you doing just lying there?" Zoro asked.

"_You _were asleep the last time I saw you!" Squid Girl shot back.

"I can't sleep with all this _damn racket_!" Zoro glared at the guys in the galley.

Nami and Nico Robin made an appearance, too. Soon everyone was situated in the galley. Except for one person, according to Luffy, who was already stuffing his face with shrimp. "Wheref Fopper?" (His mouth was full).

"Chopper?" Nami answered. "I haven't seen him. You don't think he fell into the ocean again, do you?"

"No, I sent him out to help Zoro, Usopp, and Luffy gather food on the island," said Sanji, who was smoking his cigarette in irritation. "What, you guys didn't see him out there, did you?"

"You sent Chopper out there?" The three-sword bearer raised his voice. "You know that reindeer's a coward when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"Hey," Usopp barked, "stop looking at me like that, Zoro!"

Squid Girl joined the conversation. "So wait. There's more of you?"

"One more of us," Nami replied. "We have a reindeer who walks on two legs. His name is Chopper, and he can speak our language. You might like him, Squid Girl, you two seem like the... same... kind of thing. Are you really part squid?"

Out of nowhere, Sanji swung his leg through the air, creating a deep _woosh _from the power and speed at which his kick travelled, and nailed Luffy right in the face, knocking the straw-hat boy clean out of his chair.

"Nobody's eating until Chopper comes back," declared Sanji. "Least of all, you, _captain_."

Luffy groaned. "But Sanji, I'm hungry!"

Squid Girl hatched a plan. "Sucker—I mean, Sanji. I'll go find your Chopper for all of your shrimp."

Snorting, Sanji said, "You can't have _all _of it. But if you can get our friend back, I'll promise you a special dish of shrimp all to yourself. How about that?" He winked.

Star-struck by Sanji's agreement, Squid Girl pushed everyone out of her way, in haste to leave the galley, unboard the ship, and go charging back into the wilderness that was this island.

The straw-hat crew were quiet for a moment. "Wow," Nico Robin mused, "she must really love shrimp."


	3. Chapter 3: It's High Tide We Left

Double-time.

Triple-time!

Run, run, run! Swim! Jet! Squid Girl hurried into the island as fast as her two legs could carry her. All she needed to do was find this "Chopper," and then she would get all the shrimp she wanted. Squid Girl climbed to the top of a tree with the aid of her tentacles and sat up there, searching across the treetops for a "Chopper." She slid back to the ground and ran farther into the wilderness. She thought of calling _Chopper_'s name, but there was no telling what waited for her out here. She didn't want to rouse the hostility of some kind of predator in hiding.

Squid Girl sought "Chopper" in bushes, under rocks, across the way here, across the way there, up and down and all around, but she didn't find a "Chopper" anywhere.

_Chopper_.

What the squid was a "Chopper"? Those humans said _reindeer_. What in the blue, blue sea was a _reindeer_? Squid Girl then realized that she blew away maybe an hour or more, searching for something she couldn't identify by sight.

"Oh, I'm such an idiot!" Squid Girl took a moment to pull at her tentacles in frustration. The snapping of a twig broke her out of her fit. Raising her tentacles in preparation to fight, Squid Girl called out, "Show yourself!"

But the prowler already was showing himself. A little brown fuzzball wearing a big red hat with a white X on the front, and purple cut-offs hanging over his tiny legs, was "hiding" from Squid Girl. The problem was he was hiding in reverse, in plain sight, like he was aming for a hiding spot and... well, had terrible aim. Antlers protruded from the sides of his hat. The sight of this creature had Squid Girl captivated. She lowered her tentacles and examined the trembling critter. Closely.

"Are you... _Chopper_?" she asked.

"Wh-who wants to know?!" The creature's voice was a little bit high-pitched.

"A group of suckers on a vessel said they sent you out to find some food. I came to get you, so I can have my shrimp—I mean, because they were worried about you."

"They sent a weirdo after me? Who are you?"

"I'm Squid Girl, hu...man?"

"I'm a reindeer." Earning his trust wasn't too difficult. "You're right, my name's Chopper."

"Squid_tastic_!" Squid Girl seized Chopper with all ten of her tentacles. "Let's jet back to the vessel! I'm hungry!"

"Whoa!" Chopper started to scream, but Squid Girl tuned him out. She ran as fast as she could back the way she came. She was so low on energy, so hungry, that her vision grew fuzzy. She ignored her weakening condition and persevered.

...That was when she got completely turned around and lost herself and Chopper in the jungle.

Eventually Chopper screamed his voice out. Wandering exhaustedly, Squid Girl fought internally with all her might, to keep her body from shutting down on her. The sun was setting, turning the sky a bright reddish gold.

"Squid Girl?" croaked Chopper. "Don't you think you should put me down now? I'm not going to run away from you. I can get us back to the ship."

"No chance," Squid Girl panted, "I'm going to take you back to the ves... the ship."

"Squid Girl...?"

* * *

Zoro sighed. "She pushed herself too hard."

"I've been trying to wake her up for a long time now," said Chopper. "I couldn't move her, she's so heavy!"

"This little squirt?" Zoro said. Squid Girl first felt the jungle floor under her belly and the side of her face. Then she felt Zoro's hands trying to move her shoulders. "Ugh! Damn, she _is _heavy. Maybe she ate some of Miss Valentine's Kilo Kilo Fruit. Nah, I just remembered..."

"What the squid?" Squid Girl mumbled. "Hey... what happened?"

"Ah! She's awake!" Chopper was already at Squid Girl's side. "You fainted, Squid Girl. You've been out for a long time. It's dark now!"

Squid Girl's eyes focused, and she found herself looking into the bright yellow glow of a lantern sitting not too far away, that Zoro had brought from the ship.

"You know, the ironic thing is the ship's just over there." Zoro was pointing to his left. Still lying on her belly, Squid Girl managed to turn her head in the direction Zoro pointed. There it was, the sheep-headed ship. The beach was _right there_. How could Squid Girl have gotten lost so close to the sand? "Yeah, we saw you fall over from there."

When Squid Girl recovered, Zoro and Chopper led her back to the _Going Merry_. There, Squid Girl stumbled into the galley where Sanji and the rest of the crew waited. And when Squid Girl asked Sanji for the plate of shrimp, he blew smoke in her face and said, "No."

"What?! Why the ink not?! I found Chopper!"

"...Because that plate," he said, pointing at the plate he was planning on using, "is too small."

"So, what're you saying, human?"

"I'm saying you're going to eat with us, on _this._" And Sanji showed Squid Girl an even larger plate, capable of holding much, much more shrimp.

To put it mildly, Squid Girl was overjoyed by this notion. That night, she dined well on the _Going Merry_, with seven charismatic pirates who'd won her heart through and through. Squid Girl wished she could spend the rest of her days with these people, they were so nice. This shrimp was the best she'd ever tasted, prepared by a man who cooked even better than those suckers at the Lemon Beach House. Into the night when everyone was supposed to be asleep aboard ship, Squid Girl stayed awake into the wee hours of the morning, talking with Nico Robin about this, and that, and practically anything and everything. The woman was so knowledgeable that Squid Girl, who normally didn't care for what humans had to offer, was blown away. Only when the moon was starting to take its leave of the sky did Squid Girl and Nico Robin finally get to sleep.

And then the next morning, Nami approached Squid Girl. "Hey, want to sail with us? It can't hurt to have you on board. Tell me what it's like under the sea."

Nami offered to let Squid Girl sail with them? With her belly full of shrimp and her mind set straight, Squid Girl came up with an insidious idea, one that involved conquering this ship of gullible suckers.

"Yeah," Squid Girl said, grinning, "I'll sail with you."


End file.
